It has been five months without you by my side. I wish you good morning every day and tell you goodnight every evening. I look up to the sky and talk to you every day. I miss you so much.
I know you would want me to live my life and be happy. I am still struggling with that. It is a roller coaster of emotions. Even a new car and bike only make me partially happy. It is fleeting. Things that bring me happiness are also tied to the sadness that you are not here to enjoy them with me. Everything we did, every decision we made for 32 years we did together. Making the decision to buy a car on my own was difficult. Working as a team, making these kinds of decisions was easier.
There are a lot of upcoming decisions I will need to make on my own. I do not look forward to it, but I will make them as best as I can. I hope you understand what I am going through and will not hold any of these decisions against me. I am doing the best I can trying to make the best decisions I can.
Flowers for you Jeni, yellow, your favorite color.
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